I Walk Through the Shadow of the Night

I walk, tip toeing through the twigs and leaves on the ground
I hunt, for I am one who knows what needs to be found
I seek, catching the moon peaking at me from behind the trees
I breathe, ignoring the fatigue of the night on my knees
I laugh, who can say I am finished?
I shout, the task is not done until it is diminished.
I approach, willing to risk everything I once have for this moment.
I act, the signs are as good as always for this omen.
I soar, for the maiden called Night is just passing by.
I disappear, a burden placed upon a man so weak will only rot in its stead.

Reflection: OMEGA CROWN

What you just watched was an experiment. That video along with Hi My Name is Andrew Ruse were played back to back in our Film History class. Shocking, I know. Andrew and I were trying to find what our main audiences think is funny. Well, to our surprise, the class thought Hi My Name... was funnier; that's strange because that's not what we anticipated at all. And here is a disclaimer, Omega Crown's type of humor is outrageous, raunchy, and well, immature. That's why we did the experiment, we dumbed ourselves down, wrote a script that involved excessive sexual references, and a few sentences containing the word "Fuck." I felt low after making it. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life making videos that pleased everyone except myself, that's just crazy talk. And I'm glad the results were what they were. So for upcoming projects, we have a video that'll be filmed with a homeless guy in Wood Druff park, a suspense/psychological thriller, and a music video.

Thanks for reading, my name's fuckin' Griffin, and I'll catch ya on the flip side.

Omega Crown

This video took forever to finish and a lot of work was put into it! Watch it. I'll write more on it soon.

Black Friday

So I just waited in line for Best Buy for 3 hours because it was Black Friday, and I have to say what a waste of time that was. The ad in the paper said space was limited and tickets would be handed out at 3am so you could get in at 5am. Sheesh, we didn't get our ticket until 4:49 just barely in time before the rush. Within minutes, lines were filled up like a homeless shelter on Christmas Eve, people were grabbing items off the shelves like looting, and the place was more crowded than Saudi Arabia during the Islamic Pilgrimage to Mecca. Overall, Black Friday was a horrible idea, the item I bought wasn't even on sale, and I left hungry, freezing, and a throbbing nipple because I was wearing a dress shirt without an undershirt. Stupid ideas all 'round!

PS. I saw this chick and totally made out with her. Not really, that would've made my story a lot more interesting.

Sad, Sad Man

Not only is this video disturbing, I find the man extremely pathetic. Call me an asshole but seriously? He married a girl from a dating simulator... She's not physically real, she cannot think on her own, and she has programmed responses to make you feel good about yourself. I can see how one could give in to something so perfect but only at the first glance, not to go as far and marry the virtual image. Check this out and see for yourself. In an upcoming paper, I'm writing how technology and cell phones are destroying humans as we know it. Yes, I'm a hypocrite.

A Very Merry Thanksgiving.

For this week of Thanksgiving I made a promise to myself. A promise I hope to keep for the rest of my life. Erinleigh, Tripp's production manager tells me that every year when her family celebrates Thanksgiving, she drives around the city of Atlanta and picks up a few homeless people and invites them to dinner and give them a place to stay for the night. I was taken back by this statement, there aren't many people who would do such a deed. First of all, not many homeless people can be trusted, they could: A) Steal B) stink up your house C) stay at your house as long as they can D) Be Crazy.

She's got some major balls and I respect that. So from now on, when I get my own place with my own family, I will invite strangers and pick up homeless people for Thanksgiving, Christmas, St. Patty's, whatever holiday it is. Just be generous and be as selfless as possible not just make you feel good about yourself but to make other people happy, and that's my ultimate goal in life.

Shringara Nepal

Check this vid out yo! I was walking towards the library because I had to take a huge dump when I heard something that sounded like something my dad would play on the internet radio. I then quickly dropped my load in the toilet, which was refreshing by the way, and whipped out my new camera. I enjoyed a lovely lunch right next to the Indian Nepal group. The lady on the right was rockin out.

I came across this video last night around 1 in the morning and I came to the conclusion that it changed my life forever. You may think the video is stupid or dumb but I think it's great. At first I didn't get the concept of it but after watching it a 2nd time, I understood it. It's about a Ninja who has been killing people for all his life but in reality he just wants to dance even though he's a bad ass mofo, and gets a lot of women. He thoroughly enjoys dancing. A funny take on the hard life of a Ninja.

*Note* I usually think stuff like this is stupid but this video was really well done and that's why it stood out to me. These guys purposely did a bad job with some parts to add to the humor. 3 thumbs up!

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1924672

Vlog 1

My First Video Blog about stuff in my life and what to expect from "Andrew and Kurush Makes Me Wet" Productions in the future.


This is the Filipino Party if you're interested.

This is a video I directed and wrote but don't obviously take this seriously, it was just for fun.

And lastly, the greatest achievement in film history.

Top 7 Bad Habits

I'm sitting at my computer desk twiddling my thumbs together due to a moment of boredom. It's one of those awkward moments in your life, even though you're by yourself you try to look occupied. Whatever, I'm a frake. While typing this blog post about one specific subject like I planned, I decided I'll make a quick list of my bad habits that get on MY nerves. I'm doing 7 because it's lucky. (They go into numerical order)

7. The least worst habit that I have out of the seven I've chosen has to be checking my phone. I probably check the mini blank LED screen 100s of times a day only to be greeted by a digital clock instead of a "1 missed call" or a "1 New Message". 89% of the time I am disappointed and if I add all the time I've wasted that day checking my phone it would be close to 22 minutes. That's 22 minutes of my life I waste everyday, that's 5.57 days in one year. So roughly 5 1/2 days a year are spent staring at my phone. Yikes.

6. This next one is a common bad habit but I'm pretty bad at being subtle about it in public. When I'm not checking at my phone, I'm checking out chicks. That's right. I admit it, but who doesn't do that? Girls are guilty too. Or perhaps I'm thinking too hard on the subject because I feel like I check out a LOT of girls. There are 3 main things I check out. First thing that pops out are boobs, face, then figure as a whole. Everyone needs some Eye Candy. Is it so bad? Don't act like you haven't done it. Just the way I describe what I do makes me sound like a pervert. Tell me something I don't know.

5. This is more of a problem than a habit. I fall asleep with whatever I'm reading except news or Harry Potter. I don't know what it is, I get loads of sleep (well maybe not) and I sometimes enjoy reading but if I need something to put me sleep, reading does the trick.

4. Biting my nails. Simple as that. Most people don't really care but ask a person who has been biting their nails all their life and they're extremely self conscious about it. Sometimes it gets real bad when I bite my nails or cuticles it results in bleeding. It's not like I enjoy biting my nails, well never mind, I do get some weird sense of satisfaction from doing so. But at least I don't bite them because I'm hungry, that's wack.

3. The third bad habit that makes me mad at myself is when I say that I'll go run but I end up not doing it. During college, I've found myself either doing something stupid that takes up a lot of time like waiting for a video to compress that takes an hour or wasting a lot of time against my will. Both have resulted in me NOT running. The biggest complaint I have about that is if I lived with my brother, I could run whenever the hell I wanted. I don't have to be home at a certain time and that's the biggest thing that's holding me back.

2. My second worst habit is temporizing. That's right, I don't want to the word, "Procrastinate" because every other fucker on facebook uses that word in their status updates. But trust me, I put almost everything that I feel isn't important off to the extreme. That's probably also the reason why I'm a 'B' student. All my life I haven't gotten the best grades because almost everything academically I do is done last second. The only things I don't put off are stuff that actually matter like my job or something that would get me a little publicity. As soon as I get a video project from Tripp, my boss, or finish filming a video project of my own, I get on that ASAP. That's just how I am. Whoopsie!

1. And last, my numero uno worst habit. It's been going on for the past 5 years, and no, it's not masturbation, it's substantially worse than that. It's my on and off relationship with World of Warcraft. Do I need to say more than that? About 2-4 times each year I quit that retarded game but then a few months later, I get back on the Blizz wagon and start playing again. That game has taken up so much time you would probably think I have a mental disorder from playing so much. But for me, I've played that game for a total of 78 days, 5 hours, and 48 minutes. That is PURE GAMEPLAY, with the game physically running on my computer. If you thought checking my phone was bad, try 78 days staring at a computer screen burning my eyes out and making myself stupider. If I spent that time doing something else I would be a much happier person and probably healthier.

Notable habits include: Cracking my knuckles, picking my nose at red lights, trying to hold in a fart while listening to someone, masturbation, and constantly moving/ shifting positions.

Make fun of me in the comments.

Do you wanna smile?

Check it. Hopfully, a few of my own videos will be up here in a few weeks. But for now, watch this

Sex

This subject is usually hands-off when it comes to discussion. But when they are brought up, you have 3 kinds of people in the coversation.

1. The people who talk a lot about sex.

2. The people who are super shy about sex and don't really say anything because it makes them uncomfortable.

3. The people who listen to try and gain tips for increasing their sexual experience.

I bring this up because we talked about it in class today and I was pissed off. Hardly anybody said anything. I recall my homeboy sitting behind said a few things so I give him some credit for that because he at least tried but I was really the only one who wanted to talk about sex. Everyone else was really trying to avoid the subject. I, on the other hand, didn't want to have the spotlight on me because I think people will judge me and come to the conclusion that I'm that arrogant brown kid with the funny name....Crush.

I hate coming off as that. But anyways, I'm getting off topic.

Sex! That's right. Sex should be the ultimate form of love. If 2 people say they love eachother, sometimes 3 or 4 at the same time, and that they are ready for sex. This gives the partner a false sense of love. The couple now thinks since they had sex, they love one another more than they did before just because someone stuck his her pee pee in the other's va-jay jay. I can understand that this would ultimately make you feel more attached to your partner but in the end, it really doesn't.

Sex was meant for two people to feel a connection physically and emotionally at the same time. And if people are constantly having sex with other people, then wouldn't you feel morally wrong about yourself? I mean, I'm not trying to say sex is a bad thing but when you fuck 10 girls over the course of a year or some insane amount like that then something needs to change. What're you going to tell your wife or husband? Sorry, I had sex with a lot of girls and had a lot of one night stands because I was too wasted to know the difference between her asshole and her pussy.

Talk about Oops!

My mind and it's innards

Is there a way to control the way your mind thinks?

Is there a way to change your thought process?

Is there a way to interpret and understand strings of data more easily?

I've thought about these things because I know I'm not as smart as everyone else. For me, when I perceive information it's a lot harder for me to fully understand than my peers. Like philosophy, I just don't get it. It's a lot of information at once and that's just not something my brain can take in and digest.

Another example is when I talk. I don't exactly think things through when I improv speak in front of large groups and I usually sound like an idiot. It's not because I get nervous or anything, it's just a problem I have. I switch words together and mean something else entirely. I mix "he's" and "she's" a lot too.

Haha, I guess we all have our downfalls. Mine just happens to be something quite critical. I think I should read more books instead of web articles where I won't learn anything except new interesting ways of cursing.

City Lights

Walking through the night time of the city.
Feel the warmth of city lights passing by.
Creeping in and out of shadows of dark.
Dark, real dark.

Shades of black preserve lack of color.
The color you'd think a bottomless abyss would.
Stroll by Amsterdam Avenue off Monroe Drive.
Though it's dark,
Thick,
And slow.

Shapes in the distance.
Sidewalk of gray.
Moonlight of silver.
Stars over the bay.

Headlights of shining.
City lights of wonder.
Strolling in the moonlight.
Going outside for more.

Karma is a Bitch

Buddhists believe karma is real and part of our everyday lives and it’s true. They say for every up there is a down and vice versa. Karma is essential to balance of nature and humanity. There was one night that was the greatest day of my life yet a trivial sentence made the biggest impact and altered everything for me.
It was as if everything I believed in turned to total shit all because of a bunch of verbs and nouns slithering in and out of the ends of my ears. I felt the uneasiness chilling down my spine as the words hit me like a ton of frozen stalagmites. It all started when I went to Mormon Prom. Weird sounding, right? For starters, I’m not Mormon, my best friend is, and I decided to go along with him because these gatherings are an incredible amount of fun and bring a smile to my heart.
I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go and she said no. So I asked her best friend and she said yes since her boyfriend say no as well. Going with my girlfriend’s best friend was not weird or anything since she was extremely close to both of us so it was completely platonic. To be honest, I was not exactly happy because like any other guy, they’d want to take their girlfriend to something they love and not their best home girl. I asked her what she would be doing instead and responded that she would be going to see one of her friends in Smyrna, Georgia. Well, that’s cool, I suppose. At least it is better than just laying around the house like a lifeless rag doll.
It was the night of Mormon Prom, the air was too humid and my tux was sticking to my skin, plus I forgot to wear an undershirt so I was sweating buckets of enormous pit stain; I was drenched. Picking up my date was awkward because she and her dad were a bit tumultuous at the moment so he stared me down as we departed her house. I had to double time to my friend’s house because we were taking one car to the Georgia Tech Ballroom. At this point, things started looking up even though we were late, got lost finding the facility, and were rushed so we didn’t like up to par compared to the religious fanatics at the prom.
Arriving there was enough to put smiles on all of our faces; excited, young, and ready to party was the mindset we had built up while traveling our journey to the unseen foreign shores of Georgia Tech. After signing in, we got into the dance and started the night off while it was still young in our hearts. I gotta say, we tore up that dance floor. Nonstop dancing for two hours straight not only made us tired but we were the couple everyone was watching because they were mega jealous. You could see it in their eyes, they were thinking, “ Darn, I wish my date was as cool as one of them.” I’ll never forget it; we were going nuts and danced like nobody was watching.
My date and I were spinning each other into other couples without a care in the world. We pretended like we knew how to dance even though we knew in our hearts we had no clue what the hell was going on. Who knew that listening to the beat of a song and then moving your body was so easy? Time was going by ever so slowly, and it felt the rotation of the earth was stopped on its axis as we danced the night away. I was at peace that night and I will never forget how carefree I truly was.
On the way home, I spotted some lights out of the corner of my eye and turned my head. It was a carnival! I had never really been to one before so on the spur of the moment we decided to go. I knew the carnival looked fun and by god, it was just as exhilarating as the dance itself even though the place was infested with people who did not speak English and were poorly educated.
Later that night, we all hung out at the local park where we lived and just reminisced about the entire night and laughed heartily at what my girlfriend missed out on. About a week later, I get a call from my girlfriend telling me she’s going back up to Smyrna to see her friend and of course, I didn’t mind, I had been hogging her all week anyway. I later receive a phone call from her best friend asking me where she is, so I tell her Smyrna and she gives me the one question I will never forget. It is forever embedded into my brain as a code or password. She said, “Have you asked yourself why she keeps going up there? She’s meeting a guy.”
“So?” I replied.
“What do you think is going on between them?” she interjected.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Think about it, I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news.”
As soon as I heard this, I almost lost it. I couldn’t believe she was cheating on me. This is the one girl in my life that I loved from the bottom of my heart and I have never related to someone else so well before. I was furious, it was 2 o’clock in the morning and she was spending the night at that guy’s house. The guy I’ve never met, the guy I’ve never seen, the guy I wanted to beat the living shit out of.
I didn’t have it in me to call her then. I figured they were going at it at that point in the night. She didn’t deserve my pity. She didn’t deserve my remorse. I was a mad house, utterly pissed off, and broken on the inside. The next day, I couldn’t take it so I punched my windshield and cracked it right in the center. It felt good but I wish it were ‘his’ face. The bastard deserves it. It is hard for people to truly understand exactly what I went through. I try to paint a vivid, luscious picture informing them the anger I felt on the inside; eyes red as a fire burning hotter than the sun, my heart shattered into little shards of crystal while my girlfriend kicked them around, and most importantly I could never look at her without thinking about what she did to me.
Eventually, I had the heart to call her up and tell her the meanest thing I have ever said to anybody in my life and God Damn did it feel amazing. I named every single negative trait about her and exploited and exaggerated them. Why? Because I had every right to.
This made me think about who I was and who she really was. After talking to her on the phone, I didn’t even want to speak to her again. I took a few days away from her and pondered with how I was going to deal with this whole situation. The three or four people I told said to forget about it, ignore her, and just move on. But that’s not what I wanted to do. I couldn’t do that, I’m not that kind of person to forget someone that had such an impact on my life. She meant the universe to me when we dated because I thought about things I had never really given much thought like my goals in life, my religion, the way I talk to girls, and being a person with better morals.
Though she was a hypocrite by going against her own morals, I felt she needed a second chance. I know you are probably thinking, “What the heck?! Why?!”
I’ll tell you why because she is going to live with her mistake for the rest of her life. I wanted to give her a second chance because I know I made her feel so bad that this would never happen again to me. But I was naive and in love for all the wrong reasons. She wasn’t the girl of my dreams, and I didn’t even love her, I was infatuated with the idea of having a girlfriend/ being loved by someone.
The thing about this story is that not everything ended up the way I wanted it to, and most of the time it surely does not. But I will say the experience I got from having a girlfriend who cheated on me changed me so much that I’m passed it. I matured a lot more since then and I know to look for a witty, wacky, and whimsical woman in the future. I would love to put a smile on someone’s heart and I would also like for them to return the favor. Sometimes karma doesn’t always go your way and it can be a bitch. That is how life is, you just have to roll with it.


This picture pretty much sums up the night of Mormon Prom. The 3rd best day of my life.

Go Rambo

Here's a picture I made. I'll make something better later

This is something my friend and I made. Edited by Patrick Lostracco.

"Why have the last 2 weeks been so busy?"
Probably because you delay your homework until the last second.
"What? No I don't, I just do my most important and time consuming hw first"
Aww bullshit, you think watching movies should come first?
"Why yes I do, conscience"
Wow, you're stupid.
"Suck it."
Look, you should stop complaining because you do this to yourself.
"waitaminute, would you like to hear my sched-"
No.
"-ule?"
...
"..."
...No.
"Too bad."
Ugh, fuck.
"Here's what goes down, I wake up for college at either 8am or 6am then I get home some time between 6-7 pm each day. Then I do stuff for my Dad which varies between getting him something he lost like his wallet and glasses or making him a cup of tea. Then I eat dinner, and by this time it's already 9 o clock. I haven't had any time for myself yet."
God, you're a bitch.
"Hold on, this part is really important."
I highly doubt that.
"Conscience, why are you such an ass"
Because I'm the part of you you don't like to listen to.
"Say what?"
I'm the thing in the back of your head telling you what's currently wrong with you.
"What? Nothing's wrong with me. I'm perfect!"
No, you're not. You're gaining weight from lack of running and eating fast food. You failed your first 2 tests, and you're complaining about your weeks at what is supposed to be the best time of your life.
"I......uh...."
That's what I thought. Sort your life out and we'll have another conversation soon.
"See yeh"
Good day, sir.

I sit there standing. Waiting. Watching. Growing hungry. I growl like a wolf. See purple shit on the ground in the wet gravel. I look up, and see a person dressed as Jesus. He is gobbled up by an alligator. How sad. Ketchup packets everywhere. Squirting in people's eyes and crooked pictures. A lady humming away menacingly due to the death of her unborn child. I could kill Maranda for not giving me my packet on time. I have a farm where I collect eggs and gifts to give to the neighbors. But who am I to judge? I love the world I live in. I love rocking chairs.

Here are 3 pictures to sum up my week.

If you like EXTREME Gore, violence, GOOD plot, multiple sub plots, and abominations of beings from Heaven then I HIGHLY recommend this piece of work.

Nine Movie Review

So I've been waiting for this movie Nine to come out for some time and finally it did.


To be frank, I was a little disappointed but let me go through the positives and negatives to give it a proper movie review so I don't sound like I'm ranting about something trivial like light placement or a bad choice of music.

I walked into the theater with a smile on my face, mainly because I found a large tub of popcorn in the trashcan and just dumped it out and got it refilled. It was sitting on top of the trash so it was sanitary, trust me. Anyways, the first 30-40 minutes roll by with a little bit of action and suspense to hold my attention. But I'm sitting there thinking," this plot is kinda stupid...and really generic..."

Here's what happens, Sac Boy number 9 wakes up, his reaction to the world," AHHHHH."
He walks out of the building and finds fellow Sac person," AHHHH."
They confront a machine. Fellow Sac person gets captured and 9 just watches," AHHHH."
9 finds civilization, convinces them they should save him. Why? He was taken to the Machine Stronghold.
They go and rescue him, fail, the prisoner dies in the process.
They go back to base and 9 convinces them to go back because they awakened a computer monster who carries the ability to make monsters from parts it finds in its surroundings.
Sound familiar? Jesus just watch the Matrix.

Long story short, 5 people die at the end. Bad guy dies. Big surprise LUL.

I can't help but feel the movie was trying to be one big metaphor for humans to try and better themselves and to be careful with technology because it could inevitably be our demise.

One of the cool things in the movie was the ending. The monster eats the Sac people's souls which are parts of their creators soul that he split into 9 parts thus making the final Sac Boy,9, the one with the most complex and thought out character because he contains characteristics from all the other sac people. But about the souls, after they defeat the monster, the 5 souls he consumed disperse and the earth is covered in rain. The camera zooms into the rain and inside is bacteria, signs of life. This indicated the cycle of evolution is going to start all over again. Yay.

Okay, you probably thought that was stupid and cheesy but whatev.

Doof!

Yesterday was quite exhausting, I was helping Tripp for 11 hours on a shoot we did. It was really fun, though.

We went to 4 different restaurants around Atl, Shawty that were completely different from one another. The first one we went to was the Fox Bros. BBQ grill which was by far the best bbq I've ever had in my loife. Then we went to a place called Paces 88, and it was probably the nicest restaurant I've ever been to. After that, we headed over to Livingston right across the street from the Fox Theater. Super nice place with a ghostly vibe to it. The thing that really caught my attention was there were huge portraits from the movie Gone With the Wind all the over the walls but they were painted in black and white and blurred. This gave it an old aura to the restaurant even though it was 4 months old. And last, we went to The Shed which was a fitting name because it looked like "Shit" from the outside. Nothing special about this place.

All in all, these restaurants were extremely different from each other. Ranging from fancy pants meals to the best BBQ in GA (they have awards) to average homeboy hangout with pseudo healthy foods.

I ate a bunch of stuff I've never had before like rabbit, scallop, human meat, BBQ spare ribs, and red snapper fish. All gourmet stuff, all too expensive, all really fuckin good.

Here's a picture of my friend and I. I love her to death.

Fridays

Fridays aren't what they used to be anymore.

During high school, I looked forward to every damn Friday at the end of the school week. Hangin with the guys with a few Broners, kickin back and playin' some Smash 64 or UFC. Man, that was the bomb. What the hell happened?
I don't think anything changed with them. I'm almost positive they (my friends) still do those things. I'm the one who's too busy. I'm the one who's in town while everyone else is in the city. Rats.

This new schedule is hectic. Every other day I wake up at a different time; Tuesdays and Thursdays I wake up at 5 AM and Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays I wake up at 8:30. Yikes.
I hate missing out on everything. I hate living so far away. I hate not having my best friends anymore. I can't wait to move outta here.

Dream or Nightmare?

A few weeks ago, I had a dream which was quite surreal and very disturbing. I don't exactly know what to make of it but it was quite interesting to say the least. Anyways, the dream took place in my home town. It was devastated, something happened that reminded me of the game, Half Life 2 or Fall Out 3.

I recall being inside a dark and wet building. There wasn't any paint on the walls and everything was kinda slimy, like a sewer. Inside there were all these people in my age group and graduating class. I suppose people who were commuting to college were stationed here because they were still in the area, but one person in particular, I recognized.

It could have been her last name which started with a "C" because I remember being separated alphabetically. All of us were organized into lines. The room carried an abundance of humans. It felt like a holocaust or some shit.

This may come off as strange but the reason we were waiting in line was to plug in our electrical devices such as an iPod, cell phone, ect. As I approached the front of the line with Cara, the girl I recognized from earlier, she plugged in her iPod.

"Oh, what the hell..." I thought because we were in some sort of crisis and all she can think about is her damn music, sheesh. Then, I came to the outlet with it's multiple cords loosely plugged in and plethora of extension cords plugged in and out of each other. More or less it looked like this. Except a lot dirtier and had sparks coming out of it.

With one look at it, I decided I would try to be the hero and fix it since there were more people waiting to plug their useless gadgets in. I knelt down next to the outlet and started to plug each one of them in more securely. As a result, I got electrocuted.

It was strange, all that energy coming from the wall was searing through my veins, body, and mind. I felt powerless. I could feel every ounce of power exploding through me. It hurt, it hurt bad. I was in such pain that I passed in my dream. I seriously lost consciousness and remembered everything fading to black and hardly remembering anything the moment before I collapsed. Then, in my dream, I regained consciousness. Weird, huh?

This has never happened to me before, it freaked me out. And then something even more unexpected happened when I woke up in my dream. I threw up not once, not twice, but three times. I could clearly taste it in my mouth and just blew chunks all over the floor. It was awful.

I later found myself trying to wash the taste from my mouth with water from some ancient looking water fountain. The architectural style was Chinese. But the water did nothing. My mouth was completely dry and the thrown up remnants in my mouth were being swished around like dried oatmeal. Bleh.

Soon after that, I woke up in real life. Panicking if that were real or if it really was a dream. What did it mean? I think it was nonsense and my brain was playing tricks with me. God Damn.

Reminiscing: Whoops, I crapped my pants!

Here's what happened. I went to Cocoa Beach, Florida last year around this time with the United Methodist Church group. It was a whole hell of a lotta fun except for one thing. I ended up shitting my pants on the trip. Let's start from the beginning.

I slip on my fluorescent green running shorts, no shoes, no shirt, and I turn my ipod on. I see some of my friends who ask where I'm going so I tell em' I'll be goin for a run, I shouldn't be too long, maybe like 45 min or so.

So, I start my run on the beach and a storm is brewin in the distance. I sneak up on it and I get washed with the rain but luckily my ipod wasn't damaged at all. Anyways, I look at my watch and it's been about 30 minutes. I think to myself, "Damn, I gotta take a dump." I look around, I'm surrounded by beach houses and condos that people are currently occupied in and there are a ton of people at the beach around me. I look far ahead of me and I look back to try and find a hotel or restuarant to doo doo at. I run for another 4 or 5 minutes and see a big looking building," Oh! Awesome! A motel I can crap at!"But it's a mile away. I take the risk and run to it. At this point I have to stop occasionally to make sure I don't crap my pants. I literally stop running and hold my asshole with my hands and clench my glutonous maximus together as hard as I possibly can just so I don't spill some anal seepage into my HIGHLIGHTER GREEN shorts. That would be catastrphic!

So I finally get to the flippin motel, and I rush in there. There's an old lady inside who happens to be quite redneck. I don't ask, I demand to use the bathroom. "I need to use your bathroom!"
She responds," Ain't no bathrooms here, you're gon' have to go to the nearest public park."
I think," You gotta be shitting me! Aww man, Don't think about pooping don't think about pooping"
She then says," The nearest public park is on 15th street, you're on 12th street right now."

Oh my freaking god, I hated old people for a couple days. So, I run on the sidewalk and I am still squeezing my ass together and cars are driving right passed me giving me goofy looks but I don't care, they'd give me an even weirder look if I had shit butter running down my legs.

I keep running, 13th street, 14th street, and then finally 15th street.
THANK GOD I GOTTA GO SO BAD.

I see the public park. I see the bathrooms! Hell yeah Nigga! I jump over a short fence and I reach my destination. What a relief. I then put my hand around the door handle and open the door. "Yes!" I immediately think but then I suddenly think," NO!!!!"

I shit my pants as soon as I opened the door. I could not believe it. A 17 year old just shit his pants. What the fuck, how could I let this happen?

Anyways, I think to myself, whatever it doesn't even matter anymore, I already pooped my pants, the damage is already done. I soiled myself. So I sit down on the john and unleash the rest of the beast. I place my head down and take a look at my shorts," Oh snap! I didn't even crap my pants that bad, there's only a little stain!" And it really wasn't that bad....or so I thought.

I look at the ground and there is a humongous steaming turd lying on the ground right next to my feet, and I think oh god damnit, I can't just leave this here. I feel terrible! I don't want someone to think I intentionally placed my shit on the floor. How embarrassing.

So I got a lot of toilet paper and wrapped it around my hand and tried to pick it up. I couldn't for some reason. it kept slipping out whenever I tried. So I thought, well whatever fuck it. Sorry janiter!

I then proceeded to wash my hands in the sink but I had to clean my shorts some how. I look at the door. There's no lock.

And I didn't want to run back with shit stains on my shorts so I ripped those bad boys off, soaked them in soap and hand washed them right in the sink. Please note: I am not wearing anything at this time. I prayed that no one would walk right in. It just rained, so my weiner was super tiny, and I was just running.

But no one walked in, phew. I got lucky. I then run back to the hotel and I see the entire church group is going to eat dinner at the Methodist church across the street. And I'm thinking oh my god, this is not happening. I look at my watch it's been an 1 hour and 30 minutes since I left. I must've ran around 9 or 10 miles.

All the guys approached me and asked," Dude, where have you been?"

I leaned in close and made sure a select few only heard me," Hey, do I smell bad?"

"No, not really, just sweat"

"Oh okay because I had a shitty run"

And I ate dinner with the entire church group in those running shorts without a shirt on and withot shoes. I told the story to eveyone at the table. I was made fun for the rest of trip. And I passed those shorts down to Logan Ollinger. God bless his soul.

Let's bust, start the summer off

Change, change, change, change. 4 changes is too much eh? I agree. Change change change. I don’t need commas this time. Screw that. here’s what’s goin on in my life so far. I’m a changed person I’d say. I’ve been megan free for about 2 weeks. and it’s been awesome. I’ve been hanging out with the bros a lot more, I have a lot of ME time. I’ve been able to concentrate on stuff I haven’t before. I really need this time away. She was too stressful on me. too much to think about. and now I’m listening to an awesome song by an awesome professional singer and song writer. harry Chapin, he’s the man. Mr. Tanner is one of my favorite songs of all time. Always gives me Goose bumps. That rat bastard! I sing softly to myself as I sort through the clothes. It makes me feel so happy, it makes me feel so good.
Well, here’s the whole situation with Megan, I am getting over her. Like for real this time, I’ve been bullshitting myself for the longest time that I have gotten over her but I just haven’t. I’ve been kidding myself, and telling myself that I did. I wanted to at the time, but I just couldn’t. Every time I tried getting over her, she would call and I would obviously get turned on and I would think this would work. Every single time, this happened. Hell, it almost happened today when I talked to her on the phone. But for now, let’s keep things completely platonic. I’m done with being in love with her. It was too much bullshit, I don't think she can fully understand me. I have no bad intentions at all around her or other people, I don’t receive satisfaction by being an asshole unless they ABSOLUTELY deserve it. Which is a very rare and seldom occasion. But anyways, I’m still a nice guy I’d say, I still don’t hold grudges or anything and I still go out of my way for anyone. For me, people don’t have to deserve it to receive my kindness. I like handing it out because everyone deserves a chance and everyone deserves to smile. That is what I’ve taught myself; not by a god, not by reading a religious book, but by living life the way I want to live it. My goal in life is to make other people happy, to change people, to make them better people. Obviously, not everyone will get it. Obviously, some people think I’m an idiot who’s too nice and naive but I’m willing to take that chance. Ya know, one of the biggest influences on my life was the movie “Yes man” That kind of person he became by saying yes to everyone and every question is almost like the kind of person I want to become. With limitations of course. Sure, I’ll lose money, I already have. But for now, I don’t really give a shit because when other people are happy, that makes me happy. I try to be as selfless as possible. I wish there were more people like me but then this wouldn't be nearly as fun. Perhaps I’m asking too much.

I'll post something new once school gets out. I know I've been lazy.

That Feeling

Ya know when you get that feeling when you're just a bad ass? Where you're in such a good mood that you feel like you can just sprint forever. Where you want to go on top of your roof and scream real loud. I am in such a good mood. I have been for a while. Nothing can bring me down. I'm probably the happiest I've ever been right now.

I'm about to fucking graduate.

God Bless You, Parkview

Oh, God. What a day! I wake up at 4:30 am to write senior letters. The people I've written to were Evan W., Halley, Joey, Keenan, Cody, Lindsey L., and Taylor C. Sorry, more are coming over the weekend, I'll just have to deliver them myself. Oh, and I'm probably going to write Megan a letter because her letter to me was probably the sweetest thing I've ever read.

Anyways, I take a shower and put my clothes except my pants because today is NO PANTS DAY! Hell yeah! So, I get to Mountain Park Park at 7ish and ride with Codar to get all of our water balloons together and hit underclassmen on the way to school and in the parking lot. The only person I hit was Matt's sister, which I hit right on her back. "Bitchin!" I thought. She got wet.

So first period rolls around and Evan G. and I are cleary not wearing pants. Out teacher, Magister Patricius, quickly questions us about this once a year phenomenom and is completely fine with it. He doesn't care because I'm wearing 2 boxers. 2nd period, on the other hand, was funny because my teacher wrote me up and I was sent to the administrators. I realized this, so I slip on some extra shorts in my GSU backpack and the secretary checks me out and thinks it's a mistake I was sent there so I was cleared of charge.

I get to 4th period (and I took my pants off again because it's fuckin' NO PANTS DAY!) and an administrator walks into my class, drags me outside and annouces to the entire class, "Seniors, don't do anything stupid today. This young man is getting ISS and will not attend the Senior Picnic, you have been warned."

I was thinking in my head," Well, I kinda knew it was going to happen. That's okay though, I've gone 3 years in a row without getting caught...until now, Suckas!"

So I follow the admin to my 3rd period class with Mrs. Jodi James and she makes me personally apologize to her because I apparently deceived her. I mean, Mrs. James knew I wasn't wearing shorts so I didn't rat her out, she got my back, I got hers. In the end, she ended up just laughing at me haha. I just said well ok, got lunch, then went to ISS.

At first, the administrator hated me but I just kept a smile on my face and made her laugh with my witty comments like," Oh, well I am wearing 2 boxers" or," well, my shorts are white anyways so if I got wet, you'd see through them." she just shook her head and chuckled.

As she sat me to my desk she whispered into my ear," I'll try and get you outta here, you seem like a good kid, and you know you fucked up. It's your senior year, just have fun."

haha what the fuck? Ok. Those were her exact words by the way.

Two hours later, she comes back and says I'm free to go at 12:43, the start of 6b lunch.

Ha ha, stupid administrators, I'm such a rat bastard. What did I learn from today? Nothing at all!
Oh, and another thing, I was sitting at the closest desk to the ISS teacher, which was less than 2 feet away from him, and I either wrote down this blog entry or slept sitting sraight up. I'm pro, just not pro enough to avoid getting caught without pants. Also, I was in ISS without shorts.

I'm about to get wet, go outside, and party in the spring sun.

Peace, bitches.

A great man once said," Straight jackin', saves you the Mad cream!"
I don't know what the fuck it means. But it's badass as shit.

Prom 09:

The Shit

The Bomb

The Best

The Greatest

The Tastiest

The Raddest

The Killa App

was so Boss

was so Bangin'

was a little drunk

was a little crunk

was fuckin' crazy

was kicking my ass and slapping my knees.

Prom was awesome.

The Prom Video

I'm so glad the video turned out exactly the way I wanted it to. I've been dreaming of making this video since November and it finally got made. Thanks everyone for coming out and helping, that meant a lot to me. Let's just pray the majority of the school actually pays attention.

I'm busy

Vanessa

do NOT EVER tell him i told you this.

but this is a funny story.

Kurush

omg

let's hear it

Vanessa

okay.

so, its was like, the first week we were dating

and we went to go watch a soccer game

and we bet on what the score would be and i won. i was dead on.

11:48pmKurush

haha nice

Vanessa

so for the bet, i got to make him go streaking.

wearing a fairy outfit.

11:48pmKurush

was he only wearing wings?

Vanessa

so he was naked. except fairy wings, a tiara and a little star wand

11:49pmKurush

ahaha

sounds like ethan

Vanessa

and he had to run down the street and when he got to the top of the hill he had to do a fairy dance under the streetlamp.

11:50pmKurush

what time was it?

Vanessa

so most boys would go up there do like, one little leap and then run back down as quickly as possible.

uhh.

idk, late at night.

after dark

11:50pmKurush

haha

Vanessa

anyways...

but NOTTTT ethan

he gets up there. and i kid you not, for like, 5 full minutes atleast, which is actually a long time tobe fairy dancing if you think about it, he was leaping and prancing and spinning and having a good old time dance on top of that hill

and then he finally came down.

but i must say, i was extremely impressed by his fairy dancing endurance

because like i said, most boys would not have done any dance at all.

the end.

11:52pmKurush

hahaha

can I post that on my blog?

Vanessa

haha

i would say yes

but then, ethan would kill me

Annie Get yo Piece

Last night I went to Annie Get Your Gun, which is a play performed by mostly the theater group and anyone who auditioned.

I was filming the entire show (standing up for 3 hours sucked) for Hal Day who played Annie, the lead role.

Golem told me not to expect anything because he really didnt like the play so I went into the show thinking it was going to just be meh. Turns out I loved every second of it and thought everyone did an amazing job. The guy who played Buffalo Bill was so awesome!

At one point, the battery on the camera died right out of no where so I freaked and scurried to find another in the camera bag.

I took the dead battery out and because I was panicking the damn thing flew out of my hand and hit the wall behind me. "Oops! Poops! Jewps! Hoops! Japs! Gypsies! Niggas! Spics! Crackas! Crap! Cum! Heh, heh, heh....Fuck!"

And that's exactly what I said to everyone when I realized they were all staring at me.

Anyways put put, Hal Day was phenominal and from the looks of it, she can give one helluva buss. She's really fuckin talented and I know she's gonna go places. She does whatever cums Naturally!

P-Spank did a really good job in it, and he looked like he was having fun. And I thought he perfectly fit his role. I remember him saying nononononono at least 3 times.

Josephine, even though he had one line, he did a great job too and succeeded once again in putting a smile on the crowd's faces. I know he'll succeed in his quest on putting a smile on the whole world.

Maybe I should've auditioned, I know I have a pretty good singing voice, but I don't exactly pay attention to my facial expressions. I unconsciously show whatever feeling of emotion I have at the time and make it pretty fuckin blatant and obvious.

I loved the play so much that I'm goin' with Samantha on Sunday.

Oh, and I think today deserves two posts since I didn't update yesterday. Back 2 Back blogs, Sucka!

Prom is gonna be the bomb.com

Today I went to TJ Max, Ross, Walmart, Marshalls, and K&G Men's for my Prom shit.

The only store that had anything was K&G and it was weird there because I felt like such a minority and I was surrounded by fat black guys and black chicks with huge donks holding a crying child in one arm while sifting through the clearance rack.

I looked through everything and got a gold/bronze dress shirt, a gold and bronze tie with flower designs on it (like wall paper) and bought cuff links that look badass as hell!

So I get home and try everything on. I look smokin!!! I was surprised and I usually never say stuff about myself but I really liked the way I looked.

I call Sam and tell her I bought my prom shit finally. She's excited and wants to come over to see it.

She comes over and sees me with everything on and she thought I looked hawt and thought it matched perfectly with her dress.

Later, I come over to compare the colors of her dress and my shirt. Perfect. Her and I are really both excited about prom because I don't really have to feel the need to impress her anymore. I'm myself around her and it's great. I have nothing to worry about. Hell, I even ripped one in front of her and Bonique( her best friend) because I don't give a fuck anymore.

Bitch, I do what I want. Oh and I quit pot yesterday. I'm tryin to get back into shape and get my running started up. And I don't need anything slowing me down. My life didn't take a complete 180 but I'd say a 90 degree turn right into the ass of a innocent mormon boy.

Suck my cock, fuckers!

Bonerama!

So today I get a text msg from Sam in 3rd period

"Hey I really need to talk to u about something thats been on my mind for a while"

I'm thinking all day about this. I'm nervous about what she has to say.



I always do whenever I get a text msg like this. Oops!

I worry too much, but oh well, I'm never disappointed because I expect every possible outcome.

I go over to her house and we're taking turns checking facebook, talkin about more bullshit gossip. It's all good, I enjoy it.

So I finally ask," what is it you wanted to talk about?"
It was bothering me all day and I anxious to find out.

We reseat ourselves on the couch that her cat pisses on all the time. But I can't smell it.

She then starts to say something but I don't remember because I was trying to adjust the way I was sitting ( she's always telling me I sit in the most weird positions and this was going to be a serious conversation so I was trying my hardest to sit normally for a change) I still ended up in some fucked up position. Oh well fuck it.

Sam tells me she knows I like her a lot. Like a LOT. But she doesn't feel the same way about me.

She admitted she likes me but not as much as I like her.

Eh, I was half expecting it anyways. I wasn't bummed out or anything, in fact, I'm great.

I'm actually pretty fuckin good.

So she said she wasn't ready for a relationship and I understand. It's all good, I'll give her time.

"You ARE the nicest guy I've ever known."

Dayum, no one has ever said that to me before. And that was the NICEST thing anyone has ever said to me.

I'm touched.

Anyways, she says more.

"What makes me different from other girls?"

I respond,"Oh my god, you are the coolest girl I know. In fact one of the coolest people ever because what's strange is we have the same sense of humor and act the same in a lot of situations. What's crazy is I usually have male friends, (my guy-girl friend ratio is like 7-1) and I met a girl who is the bomb.com and that's sick nasty."

We exchanged nice things about each other until finally....

I find myself playing with her pussy. So soft, so pink, so wet.

Just fucking with you. That shit didn't happen.

We talk about a lot more stuff. Mostly about how we'll remain good friends and maybe in the future something might happen between us.

She's too much fun.

And this time we didn't have an awkward goodbye.

Since I'm not trying to impress her on prom, I'm getting wasted (well, maybe not totally smashed). It's going to be fucking awesome.

Though she ended our relationship, it was short and sweet, and she'll always be close to my heart.

Quite a Day

Ok, so I keep telling myself that I will finally kiss Samantha eventually. But as of right now, she's kissed me twice. Every time I leave her house, I feel disappointed in myself because I've opened up so much to her emotionally and mentally but not physically. I want to get to know her in all aspects. And no, I don't want to have sex with her right now, no matter how awesome that shit would be. Anyways, here's what went down today.

I'm over at Sam's house today and we're talking about bullshit ( basically) gossiping, and I'm not finding an opportunity to go in and finally kiss her already.


I have to leave because my dad wants me home.

And we have the most awkward goodbyes, and this time she says," I don't want this to be awkward again, so....Bye!"

I'm just like....uhh ok bye.

No hug.

No kiss.

No face-to-face goodbye.

I'm kinda pissed, mainly at myself because I didn't do anything about it.

I get home, talk to her on the phone a little bit about some stuff.

About how we can make our relationship work because we've opened up so much to each other. I've never opened up so much before to anybody. She makes me feel special on the inside. I'm new to this shit, okay?

I'm sitting at my computer

Thinking...

It's been about an hour since I've been over there.

I'm thinking, I'm going to fucking do something about it.

I'm so sick of these awkward goodbyes.

I'm so sick of me not doing anything.

I'm so sick of not showing her who I really am.

Time to fucking change everything.

She's always telling me to take a chance.

Why not for a change?

I get my things:

Cell phone

Keys

Ipod

and I go downstairs and start my car. I race over to her house.

As I get to the entrance of her neighborhood, I feel my pockets... "SHIT" I left my wallet in at home.

I hastily do a 180 and head back to my house.

I leave the keys in my car, and run upstairs.

RUNNING as fast as I fucking can.

My adrenaline is rushing so fast at this moment.

I drive to her house, faster than I did the first time.

I play my inspirational song that I always play before I get to her house.


This song always pumps me up.
I'm waiting for the song to finish while I'm in her driveway.

the song ends, I turn off my Ipod.

I thought it was still on, there's heavy bass I'm still hearing in the back of my head and in my ears.

Turns out it was my heartbeat. I look at my watch to figure out how many bpm it was, it was close to 120.

I turn off my car. Go into her garage.

I open the door to her house.

No phonecall

No doorbell ringing

I walk in, I see her mom is still asleep on the couch, I don't say a word.

I go up the stairs on the right side of her house and see Mark, her little brother, playing CoD World at War.

I'm startled, because Sam said she'd call me when she was done with the computer. And she wasn't in the bonus room where the computer was. Mark was. Sheesh

So I see Mark and say " Hey, what's goin on?" in a kind of serious tone but still friendly enough so I don't come off as a jerk.

He knows I'm up to something, I did just enter their house anyways...

He responds " Hey there Kurush!"

I ask, " Where's Sam?"

"I dunno, try her room"

I walk to her room.

Door is closed.

My heart is racing even faster now.

I can only hear my heartbeat inside my head.

What should I do?

I start knocking on her door

No response.

I call her cell, I hear it ringing on the inside of the room but it keeps ringing.

I figure she's inside, she takes her phone everywhere with her.

She starts calling me back, and I already have my hand on the door knob.

I open it anyways.

She was asleep, laying her bed, calling me with barely a consience to function.

I look at her, she looks at me.

She is shocked," What the Fuck are you doing here?! You scared the shit outta me!!!!"

I'm determined, I got this, I came all the way here to do what I came here to do. It's time to go to work.

I lean in close to her, " I came to give you something"

I was so ready to kiss her, right then and there.

But was not ready for this.

She immediately pulls the covers over her as I lean in closer.

.......

That was my reaction. I didn't know what the fuck to do. I mean what the fuck!?

A girl, who's always telling me to take a chance, I finally do. I actually take a fucking chance, and then this happens. Fuck.

She gets out from under the covers, I sit on the other side of her bed.

We talk for a bit.

She explains she thought I was gonna get in the bed with her.

uh haha yeah right, if it took me this long to get the balls to kiss her ( or at least attempt) I would not try and get in the bed with her, I was wearing my running shoes for cryin out loud.

And she didn't want me to get in because she wasn't wearing pants.

So we talk some more. And we just talk about stuff and watch some tv.

Nothing happened.

But she knew what I was trying to do.

She thought it was cute. I thought it was a fucking failure.

So I leave and we talk about some things. Usually Sam is very tired because she's always at the gym and I highly respect that. She cares about her body, huge turn on for me.


But this time, right after she wakes up she's so uppity and happy. All my emotions of failure fade away. My heartrate goes down to about 90 bpm. I realized how I truly felt about her when she's like this. It put a smile on my face, a smile on her face. And it felt like I've fallen in love with her.

Even though she doesn't like the phrase (which is kinda weird if you ask me) I enjoyed every minute of it. I got a feeling of what it would be like if we got a lot closer. Like we've lived together for a long time.

But that's for another time. I don't have plans on marrying this complex woman, I was just putting it hypothetically. After about 40 minutes, I go home. And think upon another day where I'll get another chance like this.

No regrets, just kiss her damnit.