Quite a Day

Ok, so I keep telling myself that I will finally kiss Samantha eventually. But as of right now, she's kissed me twice. Every time I leave her house, I feel disappointed in myself because I've opened up so much to her emotionally and mentally but not physically. I want to get to know her in all aspects. And no, I don't want to have sex with her right now, no matter how awesome that shit would be. Anyways, here's what went down today.

I'm over at Sam's house today and we're talking about bullshit ( basically) gossiping, and I'm not finding an opportunity to go in and finally kiss her already.


I have to leave because my dad wants me home.

And we have the most awkward goodbyes, and this time she says," I don't want this to be awkward again, so....Bye!"

I'm just like....uhh ok bye.

No hug.

No kiss.

No face-to-face goodbye.

I'm kinda pissed, mainly at myself because I didn't do anything about it.

I get home, talk to her on the phone a little bit about some stuff.

About how we can make our relationship work because we've opened up so much to each other. I've never opened up so much before to anybody. She makes me feel special on the inside. I'm new to this shit, okay?

I'm sitting at my computer

Thinking...

It's been about an hour since I've been over there.

I'm thinking, I'm going to fucking do something about it.

I'm so sick of these awkward goodbyes.

I'm so sick of me not doing anything.

I'm so sick of not showing her who I really am.

Time to fucking change everything.

She's always telling me to take a chance.

Why not for a change?

I get my things:

Cell phone

Keys

Ipod

and I go downstairs and start my car. I race over to her house.

As I get to the entrance of her neighborhood, I feel my pockets... "SHIT" I left my wallet in at home.

I hastily do a 180 and head back to my house.

I leave the keys in my car, and run upstairs.

RUNNING as fast as I fucking can.

My adrenaline is rushing so fast at this moment.

I drive to her house, faster than I did the first time.

I play my inspirational song that I always play before I get to her house.


This song always pumps me up.
I'm waiting for the song to finish while I'm in her driveway.

the song ends, I turn off my Ipod.

I thought it was still on, there's heavy bass I'm still hearing in the back of my head and in my ears.

Turns out it was my heartbeat. I look at my watch to figure out how many bpm it was, it was close to 120.

I turn off my car. Go into her garage.

I open the door to her house.

No phonecall

No doorbell ringing

I walk in, I see her mom is still asleep on the couch, I don't say a word.

I go up the stairs on the right side of her house and see Mark, her little brother, playing CoD World at War.

I'm startled, because Sam said she'd call me when she was done with the computer. And she wasn't in the bonus room where the computer was. Mark was. Sheesh

So I see Mark and say " Hey, what's goin on?" in a kind of serious tone but still friendly enough so I don't come off as a jerk.

He knows I'm up to something, I did just enter their house anyways...

He responds " Hey there Kurush!"

I ask, " Where's Sam?"

"I dunno, try her room"

I walk to her room.

Door is closed.

My heart is racing even faster now.

I can only hear my heartbeat inside my head.

What should I do?

I start knocking on her door

No response.

I call her cell, I hear it ringing on the inside of the room but it keeps ringing.

I figure she's inside, she takes her phone everywhere with her.

She starts calling me back, and I already have my hand on the door knob.

I open it anyways.

She was asleep, laying her bed, calling me with barely a consience to function.

I look at her, she looks at me.

She is shocked," What the Fuck are you doing here?! You scared the shit outta me!!!!"

I'm determined, I got this, I came all the way here to do what I came here to do. It's time to go to work.

I lean in close to her, " I came to give you something"

I was so ready to kiss her, right then and there.

But was not ready for this.

She immediately pulls the covers over her as I lean in closer.

.......

That was my reaction. I didn't know what the fuck to do. I mean what the fuck!?

A girl, who's always telling me to take a chance, I finally do. I actually take a fucking chance, and then this happens. Fuck.

She gets out from under the covers, I sit on the other side of her bed.

We talk for a bit.

She explains she thought I was gonna get in the bed with her.

uh haha yeah right, if it took me this long to get the balls to kiss her ( or at least attempt) I would not try and get in the bed with her, I was wearing my running shoes for cryin out loud.

And she didn't want me to get in because she wasn't wearing pants.

So we talk some more. And we just talk about stuff and watch some tv.

Nothing happened.

But she knew what I was trying to do.

She thought it was cute. I thought it was a fucking failure.

So I leave and we talk about some things. Usually Sam is very tired because she's always at the gym and I highly respect that. She cares about her body, huge turn on for me.


But this time, right after she wakes up she's so uppity and happy. All my emotions of failure fade away. My heartrate goes down to about 90 bpm. I realized how I truly felt about her when she's like this. It put a smile on my face, a smile on her face. And it felt like I've fallen in love with her.

Even though she doesn't like the phrase (which is kinda weird if you ask me) I enjoyed every minute of it. I got a feeling of what it would be like if we got a lot closer. Like we've lived together for a long time.

But that's for another time. I don't have plans on marrying this complex woman, I was just putting it hypothetically. After about 40 minutes, I go home. And think upon another day where I'll get another chance like this.

No regrets, just kiss her damnit.