Walking through the night time of the city.
Feel the warmth of city lights passing by.
Creeping in and out of shadows of dark.
Dark, real dark.
Shades of black preserve lack of color.
The color you'd think a bottomless abyss would.
Stroll by Amsterdam Avenue off Monroe Drive.
Though it's dark,
Thick,
And slow.
Shapes in the distance.
Sidewalk of gray.
Moonlight of silver.
Stars over the bay.
Headlights of shining.
City lights of wonder.
Strolling in the moonlight.
Going outside for more.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Karma is a Bitch
Buddhists believe karma is real and part of our everyday lives and it’s true. They say for every up there is a down and vice versa. Karma is essential to balance of nature and humanity. There was one night that was the greatest day of my life yet a trivial sentence made the biggest impact and altered everything for me.
It was as if everything I believed in turned to total shit all because of a bunch of verbs and nouns slithering in and out of the ends of my ears. I felt the uneasiness chilling down my spine as the words hit me like a ton of frozen stalagmites. It all started when I went to Mormon Prom. Weird sounding, right? For starters, I’m not Mormon, my best friend is, and I decided to go along with him because these gatherings are an incredible amount of fun and bring a smile to my heart.
I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go and she said no. So I asked her best friend and she said yes since her boyfriend say no as well. Going with my girlfriend’s best friend was not weird or anything since she was extremely close to both of us so it was completely platonic. To be honest, I was not exactly happy because like any other guy, they’d want to take their girlfriend to
something they love and not their best home girl. I asked her what she would be doing instead and responded that she would be going to see one of her friends in Smyrna, Georgia. Well, that’s cool, I suppose. At least it is better than just laying around the house like a lifeless rag doll.
It was the night of Mormon Prom, the air was too humid and my tux was sticking to my skin, plus I forgot to wear an undershirt so I was sweating buckets of enormous pit stain; I was drenched. Picking up my date was awkward because she and her dad were a bit tumultuous at the moment so he stared me down as we departed her house. I had to double time to my friend’s house because we were taking one car to the Georgia Tech Ballroom. At this point, things started looking up even though we were late, got lost finding the facility, and were rushed so we didn’t like up to par compared to the religious fanatics at the prom.
Arriving there was enough to put smiles on all of our faces; excited, young, and ready to party was the mindset we had built up while traveling our journey to the unseen foreign shores of Georgia Tech. After signing in, we got into the dance and started the night off while it was still young in our hearts. I gotta say, we tore up that dance floor. Nonstop dancing for two hours straight not only made us tired but we were the couple everyone was watching because they were mega jealous. You could see it in their eyes, they were thinking, “ Darn, I wish my date was as cool as one of them.” I’ll never forget it; we were going nuts and danced like nobody was watching.
My date and I were spinning each other into other couples without a care in the world. We pretended like we knew how to dance even though we knew in our hearts we had no clue what the hell was going on. Who knew that listening to the beat of a song and then moving your body was so easy? Time was going by ever so slowly, and it felt the rotation of the earth was stopped on its axis as we danced the night away. I was at peace that night and I will never forget how carefree I truly was.
On the way home, I spotted some lights out of the corner of my eye and turned my head. It was a carnival! I had never really been to one before so on the spur of the moment we decided to go. I knew the carnival looked fun and by god, it was just as exhilarating as the dance itself even though the place was infested with people who did not speak English and were poorly educated.
Later that night, we all hung out at the local park where we lived and just reminisced about the entire night and laughed heartily at what my girlfriend missed out on. About a week later, I get a call from my girlfriend telling me she’s going back up to Smyrna to see her friend and of course, I didn’t mind, I had been hogging her all week anyway. I later receive a phone call from her best friend asking me where she is, so I tell her Smyrna and she gives me the one question I will never forget. It is forever embedded into my brain as a code or password. She said, “Have you asked yourself why she keeps going up there? She’s meeting a guy.”
“So?” I replied.
“What do you think is going on between them?” she interjected.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Think about it, I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news.”
As soon as I heard this, I almost lost it. I couldn’t believe she was cheating on me. This is the one girl in my life that I loved from the bottom of my heart and I have never related to someone else so well before. I was furious, it was 2 o’clock in the morning and she was spending the night at that guy’s house. The guy I’ve never met, the guy I’ve never seen, the guy I wanted to beat the living shit out of.
I didn’t have it in me to call her then. I figured they were going at it at that point in the night. She didn’t deserve my pity. She didn’t deserve my remorse. I was a mad house, utterly pissed off, and broken on the inside. The next day, I couldn’t take it so I punched my windshield and cracked it right in the center. It felt good but I wish it were ‘his’ face. The bastard deserves it. It is hard for people to truly understand exactly what I went through. I try to paint a vivid, luscious picture informing them the anger I felt on the inside; eyes red as a fire burning hotter than the sun, my heart shattered into little shards of crystal while my girlfriend kicked them around, and most importantly I could never look at her without thinking about what she did to me.
Eventually, I had the heart to call her up and tell her the meanest thing I have ever said to anybody in my life and God Damn did it feel amazing. I named every single negative trait about her and exploited and exaggerated them. Why? Because I had every right to.
This made me think about who I was and who she really was. After talking to her on the phone, I didn’t even want to speak to her again. I took a few days away from her and pondered with how I was going to deal with this whole situation. The three or four people I told said to forget about it, ignore her, and just move on. But that’s not what I wanted to do. I couldn’t do that, I’m not that kind of person to forget someone that had such an impact on my life. She meant the universe to me when we dated because I thought about things I had never really given much thought like my goals in life, my religion, the way I talk to girls, and being a person with better morals.
Though she was a hypocrite by going against her own morals, I felt she needed a second chance. I know you are probably thinking, “What the heck?! Why?!”
I’ll tell you why because she is going to live with her mistake for the rest of her life. I wanted to give her a second chance because I know I made her feel so bad that this would never happen again to me. But I was naive and in love for all the wrong reasons. She wasn’t the girl of my dreams, and I didn’t even love her, I was infatuated with the idea of having a girlfriend/ being loved by someone.
The thing about this story is that not everything ended up the way I wanted it to, and most of the time it surely does not. But I will say the experience I got from having a girlfriend who cheated on me changed me so much that I’m passed it. I matured a lot more since then and I know to look for a witty, wacky, and whimsical woman in the future. I would love to put a smile on someone’s heart and I would also like for them to return the favor. Sometimes karma doesn’t always go your way and it can be a bitch. That is how life is, you just have to roll with it.
This picture pretty much sums up the night of Mormon Prom. The 3rd best day of my life.
It was as if everything I believed in turned to total shit all because of a bunch of verbs and nouns slithering in and out of the ends of my ears. I felt the uneasiness chilling down my spine as the words hit me like a ton of frozen stalagmites. It all started when I went to Mormon Prom. Weird sounding, right? For starters, I’m not Mormon, my best friend is, and I decided to go along with him because these gatherings are an incredible amount of fun and bring a smile to my heart.
I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go and she said no. So I asked her best friend and she said yes since her boyfriend say no as well. Going with my girlfriend’s best friend was not weird or anything since she was extremely close to both of us so it was completely platonic. To be honest, I was not exactly happy because like any other guy, they’d want to take their girlfriend to
something they love and not their best home girl. I asked her what she would be doing instead and responded that she would be going to see one of her friends in Smyrna, Georgia. Well, that’s cool, I suppose. At least it is better than just laying around the house like a lifeless rag doll.It was the night of Mormon Prom, the air was too humid and my tux was sticking to my skin, plus I forgot to wear an undershirt so I was sweating buckets of enormous pit stain; I was drenched. Picking up my date was awkward because she and her dad were a bit tumultuous at the moment so he stared me down as we departed her house. I had to double time to my friend’s house because we were taking one car to the Georgia Tech Ballroom. At this point, things started looking up even though we were late, got lost finding the facility, and were rushed so we didn’t like up to par compared to the religious fanatics at the prom.
Arriving there was enough to put smiles on all of our faces; excited, young, and ready to party was the mindset we had built up while traveling our journey to the unseen foreign shores of Georgia Tech. After signing in, we got into the dance and started the night off while it was still young in our hearts. I gotta say, we tore up that dance floor. Nonstop dancing for two hours straight not only made us tired but we were the couple everyone was watching because they were mega jealous. You could see it in their eyes, they were thinking, “ Darn, I wish my date was as cool as one of them.” I’ll never forget it; we were going nuts and danced like nobody was watching.
My date and I were spinning each other into other couples without a care in the world. We pretended like we knew how to dance even though we knew in our hearts we had no clue what the hell was going on. Who knew that listening to the beat of a song and then moving your body was so easy? Time was going by ever so slowly, and it felt the rotation of the earth was stopped on its axis as we danced the night away. I was at peace that night and I will never forget how carefree I truly was.
On the way home, I spotted some lights out of the corner of my eye and turned my head. It was a carnival! I had never really been to one before so on the spur of the moment we decided to go. I knew the carnival looked fun and by god, it was just as exhilarating as the dance itself even though the place was infested with people who did not speak English and were poorly educated.
Later that night, we all hung out at the local park where we lived and just reminisced about the entire night and laughed heartily at what my girlfriend missed out on. About a week later, I get a call from my girlfriend telling me she’s going back up to Smyrna to see her friend and of course, I didn’t mind, I had been hogging her all week anyway. I later receive a phone call from her best friend asking me where she is, so I tell her Smyrna and she gives me the one question I will never forget. It is forever embedded into my brain as a code or password. She said, “Have you asked yourself why she keeps going up there? She’s meeting a guy.”
“So?” I replied.
“What do you think is going on between them?” she interjected.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Think about it, I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news.”
As soon as I heard this, I almost lost it. I couldn’t believe she was cheating on me. This is the one girl in my life that I loved from the bottom of my heart and I have never related to someone else so well before. I was furious, it was 2 o’clock in the morning and she was spending the night at that guy’s house. The guy I’ve never met, the guy I’ve never seen, the guy I wanted to beat the living shit out of.
I didn’t have it in me to call her then. I figured they were going at it at that point in the night. She didn’t deserve my pity. She didn’t deserve my remorse. I was a mad house, utterly pissed off, and broken on the inside. The next day, I couldn’t take it so I punched my windshield and cracked it right in the center. It felt good but I wish it were ‘his’ face. The bastard deserves it. It is hard for people to truly understand exactly what I went through. I try to paint a vivid, luscious picture informing them the anger I felt on the inside; eyes red as a fire burning hotter than the sun, my heart shattered into little shards of crystal while my girlfriend kicked them around, and most importantly I could never look at her without thinking about what she did to me.
Eventually, I had the heart to call her up and tell her the meanest thing I have ever said to anybody in my life and God Damn did it feel amazing. I named every single negative trait about her and exploited and exaggerated them. Why? Because I had every right to.
This made me think about who I was and who she really was. After talking to her on the phone, I didn’t even want to speak to her again. I took a few days away from her and pondered with how I was going to deal with this whole situation. The three or four people I told said to forget about it, ignore her, and just move on. But that’s not what I wanted to do. I couldn’t do that, I’m not that kind of person to forget someone that had such an impact on my life. She meant the universe to me when we dated because I thought about things I had never really given much thought like my goals in life, my religion, the way I talk to girls, and being a person with better morals.
Though she was a hypocrite by going against her own morals, I felt she needed a second chance. I know you are probably thinking, “What the heck?! Why?!”
I’ll tell you why because she is going to live with her mistake for the rest of her life. I wanted to give her a second chance because I know I made her feel so bad that this would never happen again to me. But I was naive and in love for all the wrong reasons. She wasn’t the girl of my dreams, and I didn’t even love her, I was infatuated with the idea of having a girlfriend/ being loved by someone.
The thing about this story is that not everything ended up the way I wanted it to, and most of the time it surely does not. But I will say the experience I got from having a girlfriend who cheated on me changed me so much that I’m passed it. I matured a lot more since then and I know to look for a witty, wacky, and whimsical woman in the future. I would love to put a smile on someone’s heart and I would also like for them to return the favor. Sometimes karma doesn’t always go your way and it can be a bitch. That is how life is, you just have to roll with it.
This picture pretty much sums up the night of Mormon Prom. The 3rd best day of my life.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
"Why have the last 2 weeks been so busy?"
Probably because you delay your homework until the last second.
"What? No I don't, I just do my most important and time consuming hw first"
Aww bullshit, you think watching movies should come first?
"Why yes I do, conscience"
Wow, you're stupid.
"Suck it."
Look, you should stop complaining because you do this to yourself.
"waitaminute, would you like to hear my sched-"
No.
"-ule?"
...
"..."
...No.
"Too bad."
Ugh, fuck.
"Here's what goes down, I wake up for college at either 8am or 6am then I get home some time between 6-7 pm each day. Then I do stuff for my Dad which varies between getting him something he lost like his wallet and glasses or making him a cup of tea. Then I eat dinner, and by this time it's already 9 o clock. I haven't had any time for myself yet."
God, you're a bitch.
"Hold on, this part is really important."
I highly doubt that.
"Conscience, why are you such an ass"
Because I'm the part of you you don't like to listen to.
"Say what?"
I'm the thing in the back of your head telling you what's currently wrong with you.
"What? Nothing's wrong with me. I'm perfect!"
No, you're not. You're gaining weight from lack of running and eating fast food. You failed your first 2 tests, and you're complaining about your weeks at what is supposed to be the best time of your life.
"I......uh...."
That's what I thought. Sort your life out and we'll have another conversation soon.
"See yeh"
Good day, sir.
Probably because you delay your homework until the last second.
"What? No I don't, I just do my most important and time consuming hw first"
Aww bullshit, you think watching movies should come first?
"Why yes I do, conscience"
Wow, you're stupid.
"Suck it."
Look, you should stop complaining because you do this to yourself.
"waitaminute, would you like to hear my sched-"
No.
"-ule?"
...
"..."
...No.
"Too bad."
Ugh, fuck.
"Here's what goes down, I wake up for college at either 8am or 6am then I get home some time between 6-7 pm each day. Then I do stuff for my Dad which varies between getting him something he lost like his wallet and glasses or making him a cup of tea. Then I eat dinner, and by this time it's already 9 o clock. I haven't had any time for myself yet."
God, you're a bitch.
"Hold on, this part is really important."
I highly doubt that.
"Conscience, why are you such an ass"
Because I'm the part of you you don't like to listen to.
"Say what?"
I'm the thing in the back of your head telling you what's currently wrong with you.
"What? Nothing's wrong with me. I'm perfect!"
No, you're not. You're gaining weight from lack of running and eating fast food. You failed your first 2 tests, and you're complaining about your weeks at what is supposed to be the best time of your life.
"I......uh...."
That's what I thought. Sort your life out and we'll have another conversation soon.
"See yeh"
Good day, sir.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
I sit there standing. Waiting. Watching. Growing hungry. I growl like a wolf. See purple shit on the ground in the wet gravel. I look up, and see a person dressed as Jesus. He is gobbled up by an alligator. How sad. Ketchup packets everywhere. Squirting in people's eyes and crooked pictures. A lady humming away menacingly due to the death of her unborn child. I could kill Maranda for not giving me my packet on time. I have a farm where I collect eggs and gifts to give to the neighbors. But who am I to judge? I love the world I live in. I love rocking chairs.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Nine Movie Review
So I've been waiting for this movie Nine to come out for some time and finally it did.
To be frank, I was a little disappointed but let me go through the positives and negatives to give it a proper movie review so I don't sound like I'm ranting about something trivial like light placement or a bad choice of music.
I walked into the theater with a smile on my face, mainly because I found a large tub of popcorn in the trashcan and just dumped it out and got it refilled. It was sitting on top of the trash so it was sanitary, trust me. Anyways, the first 30-40 minutes roll by with a little bit of action and suspense to hold my attention. But I'm sitting there thinking," this plot is kinda stupid...and really generic..."
Here's what happens, Sac Boy number 9 wakes up, his reaction to the world," AHHHHH."
He walks out of the building and finds fellow Sac person," AHHHH."
They confront a machine. Fellow Sac person gets captured and 9 just watches," AHHHH."
9 finds civilization, convinces them they should save him. Why? He was taken to the Machine Stronghold.
They go and rescue him, fail, the prisoner dies in the process.
They go back to base and 9 convinces them to go back because they awakened a computer monster who carries the ability to make monsters from parts it finds in its surroundings.
Sound familiar? Jesus just watch the Matrix.
Long story short, 5 people die at the end. Bad guy dies. Big surprise LUL.
I can't help but feel the movie was trying to be one big metaphor for humans to try and better themselves and to be careful with technology because it could inevitably be our demise.
One of the cool things in the movie was the ending. The monster eats the Sac people's souls which are parts of their creators soul that he split into 9 parts thus making the final Sac Boy,9, the one with the most complex and thought out character because he contains characteristics from all the other sac people. But about the souls, after they defeat the monster, the 5 souls he consumed disperse and the earth is covered in rain. The camera zooms into the rain and inside is bacteria, signs of life. This indicated the cycle of evolution is going to start all over again. Yay.
Okay, you probably thought that was stupid and cheesy but whatev.
To be frank, I was a little disappointed but let me go through the positives and negatives to give it a proper movie review so I don't sound like I'm ranting about something trivial like light placement or a bad choice of music.
I walked into the theater with a smile on my face, mainly because I found a large tub of popcorn in the trashcan and just dumped it out and got it refilled. It was sitting on top of the trash so it was sanitary, trust me. Anyways, the first 30-40 minutes roll by with a little bit of action and suspense to hold my attention. But I'm sitting there thinking," this plot is kinda stupid...and really generic..."
Here's what happens, Sac Boy number 9 wakes up, his reaction to the world," AHHHHH."
He walks out of the building and finds fellow Sac person," AHHHH."
They confront a machine. Fellow Sac person gets captured and 9 just watches," AHHHH."
9 finds civilization, convinces them they should save him. Why? He was taken to the Machine Stronghold.
They go and rescue him, fail, the prisoner dies in the process.
They go back to base and 9 convinces them to go back because they awakened a computer monster who carries the ability to make monsters from parts it finds in its surroundings.
Sound familiar? Jesus just watch the Matrix.Long story short, 5 people die at the end. Bad guy dies. Big surprise LUL.
I can't help but feel the movie was trying to be one big metaphor for humans to try and better themselves and to be careful with technology because it could inevitably be our demise.
One of the cool things in the movie was the ending. The monster eats the Sac people's souls which are parts of their creators soul that he split into 9 parts thus making the final Sac Boy,9, the one with the most complex and thought out character because he contains characteristics from all the other sac people. But about the souls, after they defeat the monster, the 5 souls he consumed disperse and the earth is covered in rain. The camera zooms into the rain and inside is bacteria, signs of life. This indicated the cycle of evolution is going to start all over again. Yay.
Okay, you probably thought that was stupid and cheesy but whatev.
Doof!
Yesterday was quite exhausting, I was helping Tripp for 11 hours on a shoot we did. It was really fun, though.
We went to 4 different restaurants around Atl, Shawty that were completely different from one another. The first one we went to was the Fox Bros. BBQ grill which was by far the best bbq I've ever had in my loife. Then we went to a place called Paces 88, and it was probably the nicest restaurant I've ever been to. After that, we headed over to Livingston right across the street from the Fox Theater. Super nice place with a ghostly vibe to it. The thing that really caught my attention was there were huge portraits from the movie Gone With the Wind all the over the walls but they were painted in black and white and blurred. This gave it an old aura to the restaurant even though it was 4 months old. And last, we went to The Shed which was a fitting name because it looked like "Shit" from the outside. Nothing special about this place.
All in all, these restaurants were extremely different from each other. Ranging from fancy pants meals to the best BBQ in GA (they have awards) to average homeboy hangout with pseudo healthy foods.
I ate a bunch of stuff I've never had before like rabbit, scallop, human meat, BBQ spare ribs, and red snapper fish. All gourmet stuff, all too expensive, all really fuckin good.
We went to 4 different restaurants around Atl, Shawty that were completely different from one another. The first one we went to was the Fox Bros. BBQ grill which was by far the best bbq I've ever had in my loife. Then we went to a place called Paces 88, and it was probably the nicest restaurant I've ever been to. After that, we headed over to Livingston right across the street from the Fox Theater. Super nice place with a ghostly vibe to it. The thing that really caught my attention was there were huge portraits from the movie Gone With the Wind all the over the walls but they were painted in black and white and blurred. This gave it an old aura to the restaurant even though it was 4 months old. And last, we went to The Shed which was a fitting name because it looked like "Shit" from the outside. Nothing special about this place.
All in all, these restaurants were extremely different from each other. Ranging from fancy pants meals to the best BBQ in GA (they have awards) to average homeboy hangout with pseudo healthy foods.
I ate a bunch of stuff I've never had before like rabbit, scallop, human meat, BBQ spare ribs, and red snapper fish. All gourmet stuff, all too expensive, all really fuckin good.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Friday, September 4, 2009
Fridays
Fridays aren't what they used to be anymore.
During high school, I looked forward to every damn Friday at the end of the school week. Hangin with the guys with a few Broners, kickin back and playin' some Smash 64 or UFC. Man, that was the bomb. What the hell happened?
I don't think anything changed with them. I'm almost positive they (my friends) still do those things. I'm the one who's too busy. I'm the one who's in town while everyone else is in the city. Rats.
This new schedule is hectic. Every other day I wake up at a different time; Tuesdays and Thursdays I wake up at 5 AM and Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays I wake up at 8:30. Yikes.
I hate missing out on everything. I hate living so far away. I hate not having my best friends anymore. I can't wait to move outta here.
During high school, I looked forward to every damn Friday at the end of the school week. Hangin with the guys with a few Broners, kickin back and playin' some Smash 64 or UFC. Man, that was the bomb. What the hell happened?
I don't think anything changed with them. I'm almost positive they (my friends) still do those things. I'm the one who's too busy. I'm the one who's in town while everyone else is in the city. Rats.
This new schedule is hectic. Every other day I wake up at a different time; Tuesdays and Thursdays I wake up at 5 AM and Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays I wake up at 8:30. Yikes.
I hate missing out on everything. I hate living so far away. I hate not having my best friends anymore. I can't wait to move outta here.
Dream or Nightmare?
A few weeks ago, I had a dream which was quite surreal and very disturbing. I don't exactly know what to make of it but it was quite interesting to say the least. Anyways, the dream took place in my home town. It was devastated, something happened that reminded me of the game, Half Life 2 or Fall Out 3.
It could have been her last name which started with a "C" because I remember being separated alphabetically. All of us were organized into lines. The room carried an abundance of humans. It felt like a holocaust or some shit.
This may come off as strange but the reason we were waiting in line was to plug in our electrical devices such as an iPod, cell phone, ect. As I approached the front of the line with Cara, the girl I recognized from earlier, she plugged in her iPod.
"Oh, what the hell..." I thought because we were in some sort of crisis and all she can think about is her damn music, sheesh. Then, I came to the outlet with it's multiple cords loosely plugged in and plethora of extension cords plugged in and out of each other. More or less it looked like this. Except a lot dirtier and had sparks coming out of it.
With one look at it, I decided I would try to be the hero and fix it since there were more people waiting to plug their useless gadgets in. I knelt down next to the outlet and started to plug each one of them in more securely. As a result, I got electrocuted.
It was strange, all that energy coming from the wall was searing through my veins, body, and mind. I felt powerless. I could feel every ounce of power exploding through me. It hurt, it hurt bad. I was in such pain that I passed in my dream. I seriously lost consciousness and remembered everything fading to black and hardly remembering anything the moment before I collapsed. Then, in my dream, I regained consciousness. Weird, huh?
This has never happened to me before, it freaked me out. And then something even more unexpected happened when I woke up in my dream. I threw up not once, not twice, but three times. I could clearly taste it in my mouth and just blew chunks all over the floor. It was awful.
I later found myself trying to wash the taste from my mouth with water from some ancient looking water fountain. The architectural style was Chinese. But the water did nothing. My mouth was completely dry and the thrown up remnants in my mouth were being swished around like dried oatmeal. Bleh.
Soon after that, I woke up in real life. Panicking if that were real or if it really was a dream. What did it mean? I think it was nonsense and my brain was playing tricks with me. God Damn.
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